Are You Stuck In The Eighties?
Well, I guess it would have to pass. There now needs to be a test to determine how stuck in the eighties you really are. For every question you answer yes to, add a point. The graph of how really stuck in the eighties you really are follows at the end of the document.

The Test Questions


  • You own a skinny tie and know where it is.
  • You wear a skinny tie from time to time.
  • You wear polo shirts.
  • You wear Izod polo shirts.
  • You have a duck tail/rat tail.
  • You wear freindship pins.
  • You give out friendship pins.
  • You wear clothes with "Ocean Pacific" labels clearly visable.
  • You wear Member's Only jackets.
  • You wear Kangaroo Shoes.
  • You wear a single glove like Michael Jackson.
  • You wear a Swatch .
  • You own something with ESPRIT clearly visable on it.
  • You wear Banana Republic shirts/shorts.
  • You rip slits into your jeans on purpose.
  • You have a mohawk.
  • You wear VANS sneakers.
  • You wear pastel colored clothing.
  • You wear sweatshirts like they did in "Flashdance" (ripped, or off one shoulder)
  • You wear those shirts/coats that zip (or fasten) in a diagonal way which then flop down to make a triangular shape on your chest


  • You own a Milli Vanilli album.
  • You listen to Milli Vanilli.
  • You have a CD of the "New Kids" you listen to.
  • You refer to dance music as disco.
  • You're waiting for Depeche Mode to become popular.
  • You're waiting for Morrissey to cheer up.
  • You know the original line up of Duran Duran.
  • You still have a crush on Nick Rhodes.
  • You refer to Bruce Springsteen as "The Boss"
  • You still talk about wether or not the video for a song is any good.
  • You still prefer 12 inch mixes over CD singles.
  • You think Madonna's "Like A Virgin" would imply she was still "pure."
  • You eagerly await the next hit single from Menudo to come out any day now.
  • You still like "Thriller."
  • You miss "Captain EO" from DisneyWorld.
  • You call the guy who wrote "Little Red Corvette", Prince.
  • You know all the words to "Rio."
  • You own more than one album by either A Flock Of Seagulls, Toto or Mr. Mister.
  • You listen to a "Top 40 Countdown" every weekend.
  • You refer to albums as LP's and call music stores, record stores.


  • You own a Smurf figurine.
  • You also own a Smurf mushroom house for the Smurf figurines.
  • You have a stuffed animal on the window of your car.
  • You have a stuffed Garfield on the window of your car.
  • You talk like, you know, a Valley Girl from time to time.
  • You use the phrase "Yeah, That's The Ticket"
  • You use the word "DUDE" at all (and with a straight face).
  • You still say, "Well isn't that special?"
  • You have a pair of sunglasses with lights behind the lenses.
  • You play video games on an Atari 2600.
  • You argue as to wether Transformers are better than Go-bots.
  • You think "Where's the Beef?" is far better than "I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up"
  • You have a Cabbage Patch Kid out in plain sight somewhere in your house.
  • You've never given up hope that you might someday solve a Rubik's Cube.
  • You think that people still breakdance to rap music.
  • You think wine from a box is as neat as sliced bread.
  • You own California Raisins merchandise.
  • You don't know that Spud's Mackenzie is a female dog.
  • You think you can get killed by mixing pop rocks and soda.
  • You own a BMX bike and still freestyle with it.

Like, You Know, The Stuff That Doesn't Like, Fit In Anywhere Else

  • You didn't know that Tiffany doesn't write her own songs.
  • You get your advice from Dr. Ruth.
  • You still cry when you watch E.T.
  • You think the only reason O.J. Simpson is famous is because of football.
  • You refer to Russia as the U.S.S.R. and think they're a bunch of commies.
  • You drive a Yugo.
  • You collect Garbage Pail Kids.
  • You still take your Flintstone vitamins.
  • You drive a DeLorean.
  • You play Laser Tag.
  • You like making Shrinky-Dinks.
  • You use a Trapper Keeper for homework assignments.
  • When you make a mistake you say, "...and now we know. And knowing is half the battle."
  • When someone calls for someone more than once in public, you start saying, "Bueller, Bueller, Bueller."
  • If someone says, "Who are you gonna call?" the first thing you say is "Ghostbusters."
  • You can still quote stupid things that Dan Quayle has said at one time.
  • You think skateboarding is rad.
  • You think that WWF wrestling isn't choreographed.
  • You still try to make your hair stand up as high as possible with tons of hairspray and mousse.
  • You're actually keeping score and will see where you place on this test.


  • 60-80 Points Total
    Get help, you stand out in a crowd, people point and laugh at you in public, really. Go out and buy a Nirvana CD or something, you're sad!
  • 40-60 Points Total
    There's hope for you, try watching some television. Get outside in public, and notice you look like a total geek next to everyone else except Bob Dole.
  • 20-40 Points Total
    You've almost totally gotten away from the eighties, or your real young and hardly remember the eighties at all. Clean out your closet and you'll probably come close to be considered hip.
  • 00-20 Points Total
    You've forgotten everything about the eighties, I'm willing to bet you don't even remember your name.
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