You Might Be A Child Of The 80's If...
This was something a friend of mine sent me... some of these are more
seventies related than eighties, but still fun none-the-less.
- ...you know, by heart, the words to any "Weird"
Al Yankovic song
- ...the Brady Bunch movie brought back cool
- ...you remember the first time "Space: Above and
Beyond" aired - it was called "Battlestar
- ...three words: "Atari" "IntelliVision" and
"Coleco". Sound familiar?
- ...you remember the days that hooking your
computer into your television wasn't an
expensive option that required gadgets - it
was the ONLY WAY to use your computer!
- ...you remember "Friday Night Videos" before the
days of MTV
- ...you ever owned a pair of "Pop-Wheels" - that
handy little combination of shoe and roller
skate that lasted about a year on the open
- ...a predominant color in your childhood photos
- ...you're pissed that you couldn't really
participate in the 60's, pissed that you were
a part of the 70's, think you wasted too much
time doing stupid, meaningless things in the
80's, and still have no clue what the 90's
are all about
- ...you see teenagers today wearing clothes that
show up in those childhood photos, and they
still look bad
- ...while in high school, you and all your
friends discussed elaborate plans to get
together again at the end of the century and
play "1999" by Prince over and over again
- ...you remember when music that was labeled
"alternative" really was
- ...one of the top five questions you've always
wanted answered was to Robert Smith of the
Cure - "What WAS that head on the door thing
- ...you were shocked and horrified at the
Challenger explosion (which you were probably
watching in school at the time), and yet,
when someone mentions the name "JFK", the
first thing you think of is "Oliver Stone"
- ...you, yes you, sat down and memorized the
entire lyric sheet to "It's the end of the
world as we know it"
- ...you can't remember when the word "networking"
didn't have a computer connotation to it as
- ...you took family trips BEFORE the invention of
the mini-van. You rode in the back of the
station wagon and you faced the cars behind
- ...you knew all the words to Billy Joel's "We
Didn't Start the Fire", but it really didn't
hold any meaning for you until about the
- ...you've recently horrified yourself by using
any one of the following phases:
- "When I was younger"
- "When I was your age"
- "You know, back when..."
- "Because I SAID so, that's why"
- "Just can't (fill in the blank) like I used to"
- ...you can't remember a time when "going out for
coffee" DIDN'T involve 49,000 selections to
- ...Schoolhouse Rock played a HUGE part in how
you actually learned the English language
- ...Kids that work in restaurants and
supermarkets are starting to piss you off by
calling you "sir" or "ma'am"
- ...you're starting to view getting carded to buy
alcohol as a GOOD thing, and you're ready to
marry the next person who cards you when you
want to buy cigarettes.
- ...flashback: it was your first chance to vote
in a presidential election, and you were SO
disappointed because, just for laughs, you
really wanted to vote for Gary Hart
- ...the first time you heard the candidates
names, you were pumped because you thought
MICHAEL Jackson was running for President,
not this Jesse character.
- ...you ever dressed to emulate a person you saw
in either a Duran Duran, Madonna, or Cyndi
- ...at one point during your teenage years, you
walked with a noticeable tilt to one side due
to the number of plastic rings on that arm
- ..."Celebration" by Kool & the Gang was one of
the hot new songs when you first heard it at
a school dance
- ...the first time you ever kissed someone at a
dance fell during "Crazy for You" by Madonna
- ...there were at least three people in your
school that voluntarily went by the names of
"Skip" "Buffy" "Muffy" or "Dexter"
- ...you ever owned one of those embarrassing
- ...you used to hold in your head the thought
that all those gold chains on Mr. T actually
looked kinda cool and the thought that Mr. T
made millions seemed rational to you at the
- ...you remember with pain the sad day when the
Green Machine hit the streets and made your
old big wheel quite obsolete
- ...the phrase "Where's the beef?" still doubles
you over with laughter
- ...you read the "Hot Video Games Player's
Secrets" guide for Mortal Kombat just so you
could find the hidden screen, and play Pong
again for old time's sake
- ...honestly remember when film critics raved
that no movie could ever possibly get better
special effects than those in the movie TRON.
- ...you ever had nightmares about the giant red
evil robot Maximillian from the Disney movie
"The Black Hole" and those blender
attachments he had for hands
- ...you were convinced for years that Batman was
a mildly overweight man with a moderate beer
belly who wore his underwear outside of his
clothes and talked strangely
- ...(girls) you thought Sean Cassidy was
"dreamy", and lusted after "Ted, your ship's
photographer" on the Love Boat, and Ponch and
John from CHiPs
- ...you're still occasionally suffering
flashbacks from your 21st birthday party
- ...you're starting to dread your 30th birthday,
and have even begun going into denial about
- ...you've ever said "I'm a vegetarian" and
immediately had someone call you a hypocrite
by saying "Nice leather jacket you have
there...and gee, is that a suede bag...those
shoes leather, too?"
- ...you're starting to believe that maybe 30
isn't so old after all, and it's those people
over 40 you have to look out for
- ...you freaked out when you found that you now
fall into the "26 - 50" age category on most
- ...you have begun to lust after women (or men)
that it would be socially inappropriate for
you to date due to their age
- ...your hair, at some point in time in the 80's,
became something which can only be described
by the phrase "I was experimenting"
- ...you've ever shopped at a Banana Republic or
Benetton, but not in the
last five years, okay?
- ...you can't remember a time when "hitting the
outlet stores" meant going to an electrical
- ...you're starting to believe (now that it
wouldn't affect YOU) that maybe having the
kids go to school year-round wouldn't be such
a bad idea after all
- ...you're doing absolutely nothing with anything
pertaining to your major degree
- ...you won't walk into the place where you once
knew every bartender on a first name basis
because "there's too many kids there"
- ...going to keg parties no longer involves
hiding out in the woods when the cops show up
- ...you want to go out dancing, you really,
REALLY do, but your back hurts, sorry
- ...you're starting to get that "why aren't you
married yet" shpiel, not just from parents,
but now from friends that are married
- ...you've recently horrified yourself by
groaning as you get out of bed, not because
of a hangover, but because it genuinely just
hurt to do so
- ...you're finding that you just don't understand
more than half the lingo used on MTV any more
- ...you ever wanted to be gagged with a spoon
- ...U2 is too "popular" and "mainstream" for you
- ...you ever used the phrase "kiss mah grits" in
- ...When someone mentions two consecutive days of
the week, the Happy Days theme is stuck in
your head for hours on end
- ...you remember trying to guess the episode of
the Brady Bunch from the first scene.
- ...you spent endless nights dreaming about being
the Bionic Woman or
Wonder Woman or the Six Million Dollar Man
- ...you had ringside seats for Luke and Laura's
wedding (on General Hospital)
- ...you remember "Hey, let's be careful out
- ...your parents wanted you to attend medical
school, but you decided it was pointless
since Quincy got all the babes, anyway.
- ...you know who shot J.R.
- ...this rings a bell: "and my name, is Charlie.
They work for me."
Also check out:
The Official amIright
Misheard Lyrics Book