Quotes From Television in the Eighties
This is just meant to be a fun page in which people remember their favorite lines from eighties TV shows. Try not to start quoting entire scenes, just the most memorable lines.

I will begin accepting entries for this page once again in the not-too distant future. For now, just enjoy what's here.

Family Ties
"I - I slipped!"
Michael J. Fox to Tracy Pollan after their first kiss, on "Family Ties".
Family Ties
TV repairman: "This is a nice hospital. Were you born here?"
Skippy: "No, I was adopted. I wasn't present at my own birth."
Remington Steele
Laura: "Why are they shooting at us?"
Remington: "Because we're kissing. Somebody always shoots at us when we're kissing."
Cheers
"I cannot be bought, and I cannot be threatened. But if you put them both together then I'm your man!"
Norm from Cheers replying to his boss' unsavory request to have someone fire
Family Ties
"Sorry Sir Penguin, I forgot!"
said repeatedly by Elyse Keaton during a commercial she was shooting in the kitchen for Penguin Frozen Foods
Benson
Governor: "I once had a fraternity brother who almost become a preacher."
Priest1: "Oh, really?"
Priest2: "What stopped him?"
Governor: "Prison."
From the "Benson" episode where priests are visiting the governor's mansion:
Hollywood Squares
John Davidson: "One third of all ice cream sold in the United States is?"
Louie Anderson: "In my freezer."
Hollywood Squares
John Davidson: "We have a camel and we have straw, apples, and ground beef. Which will the camel not eat?"
Louie Anderson: "I'll say the meat. And if he doesn't eat it, can I have it?"
Richard Simmons: "No, you can't!"
Hollywood Squares
John Davidson: "How did "quarter-horses" get their name?"
Jm J Bullock: "Costs a quarter to ride 'em."
Hollywood Squares
John Davidson: "Is it okay for cats to eat grass?"
ALF: "Yes. It gives them a nice minty flavor."
Hollywood Squares
John Davidson: "What do you get if you cross a cow and a buffalo?"
ALF: "Utter chaos! What do you get if you cross a donkey and a game show host?"
John Davidson: "What?"
ALF: "A smarter game show host."
It's Your Move
"It's more than I usually get. It's closer to what I deserve."
Sgt. Getraer from "CHiPs" after a computer malfunction gives him an obnoxiously high paycheck.
Knight Rider
Michael Knight: "It's called parasailing."
KITT:"Wrong, it's called total insanity."
Cheers
Sam: "Woody, could you add up these receipts?"
(Woody feels through the receits)
Woody: "There's eight of them, Sam."
Cheers
Sam: "You're trying to plant a seed in my brain."
Diane: "Don't be silly. I know of nothing that grows in solid rock."
Cheers
Norm: "It's a dog-eat-dog world and I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear."
Cheers
"On the way over, I decided to listen to a rock station on the radio to get into the mood. There was a line in one of those tribal passages that I felt summed up the evening: 'Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.'"
Frasier showing up for his bachelor party.
Cheers
"You make me feel that the whole world is mine. Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, K-E-L-L-Y. Why?"
Woody singing a song he wrote for his girlfriend
Family Ties
Alex: "'You are a friendly and helpful person, Alex.' It's got my name on it, so it must be mine."
Jennifer: "Then this must also be yours. 'Pay up or no more personalized fortunes, Alex.'"
While the family eats fortune cookies, Alex and Jennifer read their fortunes.
Golden Girls
Rose: "You must be tired after your cab trip."
Sophia: "Tired? I rode in the cab! I didn't push it!"
Crash Course
Savage: "Rico, what's the first thing you do when get into a car?"
Rico: "Hot-wire it!"
Not Necessarily the News
"Ladies and Gentlemen, Bruce Springsteen could not be here tonight, so in his place we have...THE POPE!"
Sledge Hammer!
Guitarist: "Oh no! The blinkin' pilot jumped out of the bloody plane!"
Bassist: "We're gonna crash!? We're gonna die!?"
Drummer: "I can't die! I haven't even been to Europe yet!"
Guitarist: "You're FROM Europe, you idiot!"
Last conversation between a rock group just before their plane crashed. (This is what is heard when they find the black box.)
WKRP in Cincinnati
"As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly."
Spoken by Mr. Carlson as turkeys are dumped from a plane as a promotional stunt.