Ten Criteria for the Perfect 80's Music Video, Groups Beginning with G

Compiled mostly by Chris Pyhtila with the help of Andy Pachmayer, Chris Burger, and Aaron Fynewever

Further commentary added by ChuckyG and various web visitors...

This page currently edited by: Rio Rhodes. Past editor: Rock 'n' Roll Fan

The Original Criteria

  1. At least one babe
  2. Poofy hair
  3. Torn clothing
  4. Cheesy keyboards
  5. At least one change of clothing
  6. Stage effects (smoke, lasers, etc.) or visual effects (artist jumping through a TV, disappearing, etc.)
  7. Wild instrumental or record scratch solo
  8. A storyline
  9. A cool car (although any kind of transportation is acceptable, like a plane or a car or a motorcycle)
  10. Sunglasses
Songs beginning with: [Index] [A] [B] [C] [D] [E] [F] [G] [H] [I] [J] [K] [L] [M] [N] [O] [P] [Q] [R] [S] [T] [U] [V] [W] [X] [Y] [Z] [misc]
Gary Neuman's, "Cars"
  1. Babes? Gary had enough foundation and eyeliner to almost count. - Besides the vid was so 80's it didn't matter :P
  2. Poofy Hair? ummm, no; Gary had lots o' gel.... - Besides the vid was so 80's it didn't matter :P
  3. Torn Clothing? ummmmm..........no the band was very neat...- Besides the vid was so 80's it didn't matter :P
  4. Cheesy Keyboards? yup...well not cheesy but..- Besides the vid was so 80's it didn't matter :P
  5. At Least One Change of Clothing? yup
  6. Stage Effects? Big neon triangle/ mirros and smoke..
  7. Wild Instrumental solo? no - Besides the vid was so 80's it didn't matter :P
  8. Storyline? nope - Besides the vid was so 80's it didn't matter :P
  9. Cool Automobile? Well........the SONG was about cars...huh? huh??
  10. Sunglasses? somewhere in there...had to be a pair
Submitted by: Bill
Genesis's, "Land of Confusion"
  1. Babes? Nancy Reagan.
  2. Poofy Hair? No poofs, but plenty of mullets!
  3. Torn Clothing? Genesis weren't a torn-clothes type of band, but there are plenty of big shoulders and long coats.
  4. Cheesy Keyboards? Plenty of dated synth and drum machines-the rhythm section is a damn drum machine! Phil Collins is an awesome drummer, but you couldn't tell here.
  5. At Least One Change of Clothing? Ronnie desperately trying to put on a Superman suit.
  6. Stage Effects? The whole video is performed by grotesque caricature-puppets of the band, '80s political figures, and a big We Are The World-type finale chock-full of celebrities musical and non-musical. There are two Phil Collins puppets, one singing while the other drums.
  7. Wild Instrumental solo? The entire song, if the treble is turned down even slightly, sounds like a drum machine solo.
  8. Storyline? Puppet Reagan dreams of being Superman, a caveman, and a cowboy, in the name defending us from those cursed Commies.
  9. Cool Automobile? The Gipper rides a Stegosaurus.
  10. Sunglasses? Certainly a few celebs at the finale are wearing sunglasses.
Submitted by: Tony
George Michael's, "Father Figure"
  1. Babes? There's George, and the model.
  2. Poofy Hair? Probably George.
  3. Torn Clothing? Possibly the ones George was wearing.
  4. Cheesy Keyboards? There was throughout the song.
  5. At Least One Change of Clothing? Mostly the model.
  6. Stage Effects? Good lighting, and the scenes were shot in black and white.
  7. Wild Instrumental solo? The solo in the beginning.
  8. Storyline? A taxi driver(George)has a crush on a model he picked up on his taxi.He then later made out with her one night and then you see those flashbacks of the model in a photo shoot.She then gets stressed out and then later, she sees George again while she's in the catwalk.In the end, George was now reflecting over a picture of the model.
  9. Cool Automobile? The taxi cab.
  10. Sunglasses? Definetly the shades George wear throughout the video.
Submitted by: Mia
George Michael's, "Careless Whisper"
  1. Babes? Of course, George and those girls he made out with.
  2. Poofy Hair? Mostly George and the ladies.
  3. Torn Clothing? I don't know if there was any.
  4. Cheesy Keyboards? I think there was.
  5. At Least One Change of Clothing? The suit George wore, and two or three others.
  6. Stage Effects? The scenes with the ropes, the lighting and the scenes with George's shadows.
  7. Wild Instrumental solo? The sax solo in the beginning and in the middle of the song.
  8. Storyline? George dates one girl. He cheats on her by making out with another. The girl founds out, and leaves him.
  9. Cool Automobile? The boat in the video.
  10. Sunglasses? I think he was wearing one.
Submitted by: Robyn
Great White's, "Lady Red Light"
  1. Babes? Tall blonde Tracy Martinsen
  2. Poofy Hair? Lead guitarist had hair bigger than mine
  3. Torn Clothing? pretty sure
  4. Cheesy Keyboards? maybe a little
  5. At Least One Change of Clothing? Yes! Love to have her wardrobe
  6. Stage Effects? got it!
  7. Wild Instrumental solo? Great riff
  8. Storyline? absolute tribute to beautiful woman he's totally got it for
  9. Cool Automobile? the harley she's sitting on
  10. Sunglasses? maybe
Submitted by: Mick
Greg Kihn band's, "Jeopardy"
  1. Babes? He marries one
  2. Poofy Hair? He had poofy hair
  3. Torn Clothing? Some of the wedding guest turned zombies
  4. Cheesy Keyboards? Oh yeah...
  5. At Least One Change of Clothing? He changes into a tux, she also changes
  6. Stage Effects? Monsters in the chapel
  7. Wild Instrumental solo? Guitar solo
  8. Storyline? Guy's wedding day turns into a nightmare
  9. Cool Automobile? The car they use to get to and fro the wedding
  10. Sunglasses? Not sure if there is any...
Submitted by: Rob
Guns 'N' Roses's, "Welcome to the Jungle"
  1. Babes? Babes? All over the place.
  2. Poofy Hair? Poofy hair? Check out Axl's do.....And Slash's hair is eternally poofy.
  3. Torn Clothing? Torn jeans everywhere.
  4. Cheesy Keyboards? No....sorry....
  5. At Least One Change of Clothing? Yeah, sure.
  6. Stage Effects? Effects....yeah....the fog
  7. Wild Instrumental solo? Slash, he's all wild.
  8. Storyline? This kid goes to L.A. for the first time.
  9. Cool Automobile? Yeah, man.
  10. Sunglasses? Uh huh.
Submitted by: Amanda
Guns N Roses 's, "Knockin on Heavens Door"
  1. Babes? Aaron
  2. Poofy Hair? Poofy Peas
  3. Torn Clothing? Bikini Top
  4. Cheesy Keyboards? Monterey Jack Nummy
  5. At Least One Change of Clothing? Red Gym Shorts
  6. Stage Effects? Marlboro Light 100's
  7. Wild Instrumental solo? Instrumental poof powers (Love)
  8. Storyline? To live with love in a beautiful place like Montana and be forever happy.
  9. Cool Automobile? Moon Car(Camaro)
  10. Sunglasses? Since I Don't Have You
Submitted by: Mona Pierson
Guns N' Roses's, "Sweet Child O' Mine"
  1. Babes? Plenty of babes around- all of the band members' girlfriends
  2. Poofy Hair? Need we ask? Everyone but Axl had poofy hair, and Slash's hair certainly makes up for it
  3. Torn Clothing? I'm pretty sure there's torn clothing in this one... they have it every other time
  4. Cheesy Keyboards? So there's no cheesy keyboards, but the Illusion records make up for it
  5. At Least One Change of Clothing? Axl changes clothes around a few times
  6. Stage Effects? All them camera dudes all over the place got lots of weird angles, and that black and white fuzzy crap did the job
  7. Wild Instrumental solo? Slash is in the band. Enough said
  8. Storyline? Band makes music video and invites girlfriends to shoot
  9. Cool Automobile? do the big camera things count? you can ride on them and they move.
  10. Sunglasses? I know there are sunglasses somewhere.... I just can't pick it off the top of my head
Submitted by: Linda
Guns N' Roses's, "Paradise City"
  1. Babes? There a crap load of them in the audience.
  2. Poofy Hair? Slash and Steven Adler.
  3. Torn Clothing? Slash
  4. Cheesy Keyboards? Hell No!!!
  5. At Least One Change of Clothing? Axl about 2 times.
  6. Stage Effects? There are zoom ins and it changes to black and white sometimes.
  7. Wild Instrumental solo? It's Slash, how could there not be a wild intrumental solo.
  8. Storyline? Just about the band being on the road.
  9. Cool Automobile? Not that i can think of.
  10. Sunglasses? All of them at some point and time.
Submitted by: Black Rose
Guns N' Roses's, "November Rain"
  1. Babes? Stephanie Seymour
  2. Poofy Hair? Slash
  3. Torn Clothing? Slash
  4. Cheesy Keyboards? Dizzy, a couple of shots
  5. At Least One Change of Clothing? Stephanie, from Wedding dress to that black dress
  6. Stage Effects? The lighting at in stage parts
  7. Wild Instrumental solo? Slash at the end
  8. Storyline? Axl marries Stephanie, she dies shortly after the wedding
  9. Cool Automobile? The black one that Axl and Stephanie left in
  10. Sunglasses? Axl
Submitted by: Kevin
Guns N' Roses's, "Don't Cry (original)"
  1. Babes? Axls girl in the begining of the video...plus many more throughout
  2. Poofy Hair? Slash
  3. Torn Clothing? Slash, Axl
  4. Cheesy Keyboards? i don't think so
  5. At Least One Change of Clothing? let's see....Axl appears 3 times at once wearing 3 different getups, plus he and Slash change clothes a few times throughout the video
  6. Stage Effects? well, 3 Axl Roses at once, and one walks through a mirror....Slash driving the car over the cliff and it blowing up
  7. Wild Instrumental solo? Slash after the car goes over the cliff plays a short solo at the top
  8. Storyline? i'm still trying to figure that out...it's complicated
  9. Cool Automobile? Slash's Mustang....before he wrecks it
  10. Sunglasses? Slash...the drummer, Izzy, and i think Axl at one point
Submitted by: Kyle
Guns N'Roses's, "Don't Cry"
  1. Babes? There is gorgeous Stephany Seymour but Axl makes a hotter babe
  2. Poofy Hair? Slash's fro' does it!
  3. Torn Clothing? slash has torn jeans---hell yeah
  4. Cheesy Keyboards? nothing is cheesy about GN'R --no keyboards!
  5. At Least One Change of Clothing? axl wears a suit when he talks to the hot blonde and makes stephany jealous--and wears a long trench coat when he visits his own grave and of course on the top of the building
  6. Stage Effects? cool camera shots
  7. Wild Instrumental solo? SLASH helooo!!
  8. Storyline? there's always a story behind every GN'R video plus he dies at the end- supposedly
  9. Cool Automobile? the very cool car that slash drives off the cliff
  10. Sunglasses? slash when driving
Submitted by: Alexia
Guns N` Roses's, "November Rain"
  1. Babes? MINCIA!(Italian), AXLs Wife was MAD HOT!!!!!
  2. Poofy Hair? 100% POOFED!!!!
  3. Torn Clothing? I Bet YA THAT their underwears were torned too.
  4. Cheesy Keyboards? Not Quite, its a ballad!
  5. At Least One Change of Clothing? Yea, every scene has a different outfit, wedding, after party, bar, the house, the ball room!
  6. Stage Effects? The Roses bleed, the wind blowing while Slashs is rocking!
  7. Wild Instrumental solo? OH MY GOD!! Slash is a GOD, the solos are incredible!
  8. Storyline? Ah, axl gets married to some one he loves, she dies during the rain (wedding). A love song about never letting go!
  9. Cool Automobile? The car for the wedding (limo)
  10. Sunglasses? ohhh yeah, in the bar!
Submitted by: Joey C
Guns n Roses's, "Don't Cry"
  1. Babes? Stephanie Seymour, The one that fights Axl for the gun.
  2. Poofy Hair? Slash obviously! Also Duff.
  3. Torn Clothing? This is Guns n Roses we're talkin about. They always had torn clothing.
  4. Cheesy Keyboards? They're in there somewhere and at one point Axl plays the piano with some girl causing a huge fight.
  5. At Least One Change of Clothing? Yep, Axl in the house, in the cemetary, in the shrink's ofice, on top of the building... there's a whole load more too.
  6. Stage Effects? Loads, but the best is when Slash driveshis car over the cliff and then appears at the top playing a guitar solo.
  7. Wild Instrumental solo? Of course, Slash on the Cliff top.
  8. Storyline? Yeah but its kinda strange. I thik its about the pressures of fame and Axl going mad but i'm not sure.
  9. Cool Automobile? The car slash drives off the cliff and the helicopter used to film them on the top of the building.
  10. Sunglasses? Yeah i think so, in the cemetary at the end.
Submitted by: Stephanie Rose
Guns n Roses's, "November Rain"
  1. Babes? Axl's woman in this vid was Babe x2 - Or Dose Babe'
  2. Poofy Hair? Slash's hair is pretty poofy...
  3. Torn Clothing? In the scene at the bar, I think every member of the band reveals an article of clothing to be torn
  4. Cheesy Keyboards? If you count Axl's Piano at the start of the video, then YES
  5. At Least One Change of Clothing? Axl goes from getting married, playing a concert, and chilling at a local pub...That makes 3
  6. Stage Effects? There are many many...Anyone who has watched the vid would agree. The fading blood flowers at the end for example
  7. Wild Instrumental solo? Slash does not just one but two lead solo's in this vid...Also Axl has some bits of Piano solo's
  8. Storyline? Yes, Yes, Yes...Axl's decent into a downward spiral of saddness at the death of his new wife...Boo-Hoo Axl
  9. Cool Automobile? The car that Axl and his new found wifey drive off in after the wedding looked pretty cool to me
  10. Sunglasses? Slash can be seen wearing them alot in this vid
Submitted by: Droog
Guns n' Roses's, "Estranged"
  1. Babes? Few babes sitting in front of a Tv and watching Guns n' Roses (Of course!)
  2. Poofy Hair? SLASH!!!!! That would be enough for the whole band
  3. Torn Clothing? Slash is wearing torn jeans when he's on stage
  4. Cheesy Keyboards? Dizzy is playing keyboards in the middle of the song
  5. At Least One Change of Clothing? Axl, for example changes his clothes at least three times:his white "Deep puplpe" shirt plus on the stage while performing
  6. Stage Effects? Storming ocean...sunset...dolphines...Axl is underwater...Slash is playing his solo in the middle of this hell
  7. Wild Instrumental solo? Word "SLASH" speasks for itself.(see criteria #6)
  8. Storyline? The band is touring,Axl seems to be tired from all this and decides to drown himself....
  9. Cool Automobile? Axl's beautifull white limo
  10. Sunglasses? Gilby is wearing sunglusses when he throws ring-buoy to Axl
Submitted by: Lena
Songs beginning with: [Index] [A] [B] [C] [D] [E] [F] [G] [H] [I] [J] [K] [L] [M] [N] [O] [P] [Q] [R] [S] [T] [U] [V] [W] [X] [Y] [Z] [misc]
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