Ten Criteria for the Perfect 80's Music Video, Groups Beginning with P

Compiled mostly by Chris Pyhtila with the help of Andy Pachmayer, Chris Burger, and Aaron Fynewever

Further commentary added by ChuckyG and various web visitors...

This page currently edited by: Rio Rhodes. Past editor: Rock 'n' Roll Fan

The Original Criteria

  1. At least one babe
  2. Poofy hair
  3. Torn clothing
  4. Cheesy keyboards
  5. At least one change of clothing
  6. Stage effects (smoke, lasers, etc.) or visual effects (artist jumping through a TV, disappearing, etc.)
  7. Wild instrumental or record scratch solo
  8. A storyline
  9. A cool car (although any kind of transportation is acceptable, like a plane or a car or a motorcycle)
  10. Sunglasses
Songs beginning with: [Index] [A] [B] [C] [D] [E] [F] [G] [H] [I] [J] [K] [L] [M] [N] [O] [P] [Q] [R] [S] [T] [U] [V] [W] [X] [Y] [Z] [misc]
Pat Benatar's, "Love Is A Battlefield"
  1. Babes? Pat looks sexy enough in this video, but if more is needed, then look at the pack of hookers that she teams up with !
  2. Poofy Hair? The hookers have hair stretched up to the roof.
  3. Torn Clothing? Pat and her hooker friends wear torn clothes. Which is only fitting for a song whose title has "battlefield" in it !
  4. Cheesy Keyboards? The whole rhythm track was produced by a synthesizer. The intro also features an overly-echoed keyboard sound in the background.
  5. At Least One Change of Clothing? Pat goes from the girl next door to a prostitute within four minutes. Ay ay ay !
  6. Stage Effects? Lots of choreography as Pat and her "collegues" start shimmying at men who treat them like, well... whores !
  7. Wild Instrumental solo? Wild 80's guitar solo playing as Pat & friends start reacting to the abuse of their clients.
  8. Storyline? Pat runs away from home, leaving her little brother behind, goes to the big and unkind city. She finds nothing welcoming there, so turns to prostitution as a way to survive. Eventually, she grows tired of the abuse and faces the creeps. She finally decides to go back home.
  9. Cool Automobile? Nice scene with Pat riding around the city in a bus, with nobody looking at her. Maybe not cool, but it's still a transport and it is featured prominently.
  10. Sunglasses? Some of the hookers and/or their clients wear sunglasses.
Submitted by: Louis
Pat Benatar's, "We Belong"
  1. Babes? Ummm, the singer. She was quite a babe.
  2. Poofy Hair? Short and somewhat poofy.
  3. Torn Clothing? Nope, just white sheets everywhere.
  4. Cheesy Keyboards? negative.
  5. At Least One Change of Clothing? don't think so.
  6. Stage Effects? THe cliff and the river and the children.
  7. Wild Instrumental solo? No, its a slow pretty song, there isn't any need for any ear-candy, shes enough eye-candy.
  8. Storyline? Nope, she just rocks her head and claps with the beat.
  9. Cool Automobile? The song rocks, no need for one.
  10. Sunglasses? I can't picture her in sunglasses.
Submitted by: Mike
Pat Benatar's, "Love Is A Battlefiled"
  1. Babes? Pat herself and some of the background dancers
  2. Poofy Hair? Pat herself and ALL of the background dancers
  3. Torn Clothing? I think every one including Neil got there colthes from the Flashdance/ Cindy Lauper outlet.
  4. Cheesy Keyboards? Does the drum effects at the start of the song count????
  5. At Least One Change of Clothing? I would not bet my life on it, but I think I did see a color change in the torn head set of Pat and some of the dancers
  6. Stage Effects? I saw smoke...and the best part of that was it covered the ugly dancers.
  7. Wild Instrumental solo? Neil and his Gee-tar...that says it all
  8. Storyline? No one, but not really nessccery in the 80's
  9. Cool Automobile? N/A
  10. Sunglasses? The eye shadow wearn by everyone in the vedio counts as sun block ( meant glasses)
Submitted by: Hunter Clark
Pat Benatar's, "Love is a Battlefield"
  1. Babes? Pat and all the other unfortunate young girls
  2. Poofy Hair? Pat again, especially in the sleazy bar
  3. Torn Clothing? All the girls, they were down on their luck ya know
  4. Cheesy Keyboards? definitely key boards... cheesy? You decide.
  5. At Least One Change of Clothing? At least twenty:)
  6. Stage Effects? Smoky bar, running lights on stage...
  7. Wild Instrumental solo? Needed to effectively dance the pimp down
  8. Storyline? Rebel teen leaves home finds her freedom and the reality of life gets caught up with a super seedy pimp becomes strong and dances her way out of a sticky situation... oh yeah there's a storyline
  9. Cool Automobile? Rides in and out on a bus, lots of city traffic...
  10. Sunglasses? The guy with the red bandanna and no shirt in the park
Submitted by: Rachel Morgan
Phil Collins's, "Against All Odds"
  1. Babes? The woman starring in the movie is pretty hot herself.
  2. Poofy Hair? Phil Collins'!!! LOL!!! Just kidding. The man is great. There has got to be somebody with puffy hair! It's the 80s!!!
  3. Torn Clothing? No. These people are serious.
  4. Cheesy Keyboards? Just piano. And it ain't cheesy!
  5. At Least One Change of Clothing? yeah
  6. Stage Effects? YES!!! Phil Collins is singing through an ancient Mayan mask!!!
  7. Wild Instrumental solo? The drums comming in at the middle of the song. It's not exactly a solo but it's very nice!
  8. Storyline? The Movie.
  9. Cool Automobile? Aha...That Ferrari and that Porsche are very hot i believe!
  10. Sunglasses? The guy driving the Porsche is wearing a pair.
Submitted by: Paul Evereign
Phil Collins's, "Don't lose my number"
  1. Babes? The Babes In the fitness scene, the beach scene, and the Japanese Woman
  2. Poofy Hair? The director who thinks of the western theme
  3. Torn Clothing? most of the people in the "Road Warrior" Scene
  4. Cheesy Keyboards? yes
  5. At Least One Change of Clothing? Every different idea he has a new costume on
  6. Stage Effects? Fake Blood!
  7. Wild Instrumental solo? Guitar Solo
  8. Storyline? Phil Collins Is looking for a music video to go to his latest song
  9. Cool Automobile? The cars in the "Road Warrior" scene
  10. Sunglasses? one of the directors has some on
Submitted by: Justin
Poison's, "Fallen Angel "
  1. Babes? Bobbi Brown, also appeared in "Cherry Pie" by Warrant & "Once Bitten, Twicw Shy" by Great White, but this video probably was her first.
  2. Poofy Hair? Bobbi Brown, Poison, other women
  3. Torn Clothing? Band members of Poison
  4. Cheesy Keyboards? None
  5. At Least One Change of Clothing? The clothes Bobbi wore, a bikini, pink dress (Eat your heart out Reese Witherspoon!), etc.
  6. Stage Effects? Camera angles, & a few short scenes in black & white
  7. Wild Instrumental solo? Guitar solo
  8. Storyline? A runaway decides to go to L.A. to persue her dream as a model or actress & met a fashion mogul who "discovers" & dated her. She later finds out that he's cheating and leaves him. (And kicked him in the groin!!!)
  9. Cool Automobile? A motorcycle ridden by Bret Micheals & a limo
  10. Sunglasses? None. I think somebody wore them in the background at the club scene.
Submitted by: Music Video Nut
Poison's, "I Want Action"
  1. Babes? There's chicks in the beginning, in the car with Bret...everywhere.
  2. Poofy Hair? It was POISON...everyone had big hair, including the chicks. No open flame near their hair...
  3. Torn Clothing? Torn? Try falling off.
  4. Cheesy Keyboards? They were cheesy enough to not have cheesy keyboards.
  5. At Least One Change of Clothing? My gosh those boys have more clothes than a Goodwill.
  6. Stage Effects? Pyro...pyro...pyro...I think some lime green lights and lazers too.
  7. Wild Instrumental solo? Of course...C.C. went nuts on that guitar.
  8. Storyline? Getting groupies.
  9. Cool Automobile? Yeah, Bret's in a convertible with two chicks.
  10. Sunglasses? Yup, the big cheap black ones.
Submitted by: Jen Lyons
Prince's, "When Doves Cry"
  1. Babes? Appolonia,I'd do her.
  2. Poofy Hair? Every member of his band has the biggest hair I've ever seen.
  3. Torn Clothing? I believe the girls in his band have torn jeans.
  4. Cheesy Keyboards? Always keyboards in his videos, not sure if they were cheesy by anyone's definition.
  5. At Least One Change of Clothing? Maybe not a change unless removal of clothing counts.
  6. Stage Effects? Can't recall
  7. Wild Instrumental solo? Prince was a fantastic guitar soloist.
  8. Storyline? Boy gets girl, boy loses girl gets her back again blah blah blah.
  9. Cool Automobile? Hot purple motorcycle is a nice rid.e
  10. Sunglasses? You mean the one's Prince wears that are bigger than his whole head practically.
Submitted by: Barb
Prince and the Revolution's, "When Doves Cry"
  1. Babes? There was the co-star in the move and I think her name was Appolonia
  2. Poofy Hair? Prince had the poofy hair style
  3. Torn Clothing? I don't recall any torn clothing in the video
  4. Cheesy Keyboards? There was a cheesy keyboard scene in the video
  5. At Least One Change of Clothing? There was several change of clothing. Prince wore the purple and white set and the silver pasley pants, white shirt and wide-brim hat.
  6. Stage Effects? There was a scene where everybody in the band were on stage performing the song and right at the end the painted face appear and a single teardrop falls from the eye
  7. Wild Instrumental solo? The guitar solo was kicking.
  8. Storyline? The video had a storyline because clipping were taken from the movie Purple Rain.
  9. Cool Automobile? The cool vehicle in the video was the motorcycle
  10. Sunglasses? Prince was wearing sunglasses when riding the motorcycle
Submitted by: CJ
Songs beginning with: [Index] [A] [B] [C] [D] [E] [F] [G] [H] [I] [J] [K] [L] [M] [N] [O] [P] [Q] [R] [S] [T] [U] [V] [W] [X] [Y] [Z] [misc]
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