Jokes of and from the Eighties

This page is devoted to jokes about 80s events. I can't promise the jokes will be in good taste, though I won't add too many perverse ones. New Coke, Yugo's, Ronald Reagan, all are perfectly acceptable targets. Jokes that you needed to live in the 80s to understand are what I'm looking for here. The death of Princess Diane isn't though, since she didn't die in the 80s. I'll segregated the jokes out into topics as the list grows. (ie. Challenger jokes will probably get their own page, Yugo jokes as well, etc.) Racist jokes are also not wanted.

Children's Rhymes are on a seperate page.

This page currently edited by: Indy Gent. Past editor: Junior

What does Michael Jackson say when he sees a little boy? Thriller!
You people r sick, you pick at people who lost there life, to help humanity. What if it was your mom, dad,sibling, or child, who lost there life? Oh your Micheal Jackson jokes are wack, let the man rest in peace. You sick crackers r red necks. And think this world is yours, but u will soon see, all power belongs to GOD. YOU WILL SE YOUR CARMA WILL CATCH UP WITH YOU AND BITE YOU IN THE ASS.
get a life jack ass
Q.What do you call a Yugo convertible with 2 tailpipes? A.A wheelbarrow
How do you double the value of a Yugo? Fill the gas tank. What does every Yugo come with? A bus schedule. What does Micheal Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little crackers. What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and a garbage bag? One either black or white, made of plastic and dangerous for children to play with, the others a garbage bag...
I pledge allegiance to the flag cause Michael Jackson's just a fa**. Pepsi Cola burned him up so now he's drink-in 7Up. But 7UP's got no caffeine so now he's doing Billy Jean. But Billy Jean is just a song and now he's sing-in All Night Long!
This is the complete version of an existing joke on your site.
What the heck is up with the jokes on this page? They aren't jokes.....
Where does a politician go to check out books? The lie-brary!
Q)What is Soleil Moon Frye's favorite food? A)French Fries
What does FIAT stand for? Fix It Again Tony!
DO they even make FIAT's anymore???
What's grosser than gross? A dead baby in a trash can. What's grosser than that? A dead baby in 10 trash cans!
Last words heard on the Challenger: What's this button do ?
What is the proper definition of YUGO.......? If you're driving in one at 30m.p.h. and slam on the brakes YUGO through the windshield.
There was an elephant,he went to the camel and said why do you have two boobs on your back and then the camel replied: that's quite a stupid question coming from someone who has a dick on his face.
What did God say when he made the first black person?
Oops, I burnt one.
What do you call a pool full of black babies? COCOA PUFFS!!!HAHAHAHA
Whats 2+2? 5 hahahahahahahahaha
Why was Rock Hudson's car insurance so high? Cuz he got rammed in the rear too many time's!!!
Why did the monkey paint his balls red? So he could hide in the cherry tree. Whats the loudest scream in the jungle? An elephant eating cherries.
what do you get when you cross an owl and a bunjie cord, my ass
my ass
What are Michael Jackson's and Richard Pryor's favorite charity? The Ignited Negro College Fund
Your Challenger and Natalie Wood "jokes" are sick....
Your Challenger and Natalie Wood "jokes" are sick....
Q. What do suppose went through Christa McAuliffe's head when she realized she was about to die? A. A piece of metal about a foot long.
Q. What does NASA stand for? A. Need Another Seven Astronauts
Q. What does NASA stand for? A. Need Another Seven Astronauts
How did captain hook die?
jock itch
Hello Mother, Hello Father, greetings from camp marijuana, coke is good here, crack is better, I'm so high I can't write this f'in letter
What do you call Dolly Parton in the bathtub? Islands in the stream.
What does N A S A stand for?... Need another seven astronauts.
You have the "What do you call a Yugo at the top of a hill?" joke twice, and it isn't What do Sears and Michael Jackson have in common? Litte boy's pants on sale..... the answer is Little boys' pants are half-off".
You have the What do you call a Yugo at the top of a hill? Joke twice, and it isn't What do Sears and Michael Jackson have in common? Litte boy's pants on sale..... the answer is Little boys' pants are half-off. Jeeze...I can't believe I remember this stuff!!!~lol
Q: How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A: From a catalog.
Girlfriend to her boyfriend: Why don't we go see Madonna's latest movie today? Boyfriend to his girlfriend: I'm not feeling so good today how about tomorrow? Girlfriend: The movie won't still be on tomorrow.
Where did the Challenger crew spend their last vacation?
Answer: All Over Florida
NASA released Christa McAuliffe's lesson plan from space. On Monday she was math teacher, on Tuesday she was history.
Q: What do you call a Yugo with 2 tailpipes? A: A wheelbarrow
Q: What do you call a Yugo with two tailpipes? A: A wheelbarrow
Q: what did one butt cheek say to the other A: together we can stop this shit.
Why aren't Michael Jackson and Roman Polanski friends? Because Michael Jackson likes little boys. Roman Polanski likes little girls.
Who killed more Indians than Custer? Union Carbide.
A popular joke that came out after the gas leak that killed thousands of Indians in Bhopal,India. I think this joke is pretty tasteless really.
Q:What do you call a Yugo with 2 exhaust pipes? A:a wheelbarrow
A little known fact of the 80s was that Michael Jackson and Boy George had an unreleased duet...It was called "I'll Beat It For Ya".
What's worse than sweat on Olivia Newton John? Come On Eileen
How many dead babies does it take to tar a roof? Depends on on how thin you slice em.
"What were the last words said on the space shuttle Challenger? No, a Bud Light!!"
What did the little bird say when he saw the K-Mart sign? Cheep! Cheep! Cheep!
Circa 1983
Q. Whats the difference between Samantha Fox and the Eiffel Tower? A. More men have been up Samantha Fox than the Eiffel Tower.
This one was out around 1987 when Sam had her 'Touch Me' song going.
Q. Did you know Vic Morrow had dandruff? A. They found his Head and Shoulders in the bushes.
Q. Did you know they made Vic Morrow an honorary member of the Rotary Club?
Q. Why didn't Natalie Wood take a shower on the boat? A. She wanted to wash up on shore.
What's black and comes in little white cans? Michael Jackson.
How long did Lionel Ritchie sit on the toilet? All Night Long!
My friends still think this is funny.
"I got a new car radio. When you shout ""soul"" it plays soul music, when you shout ""rock"" it plays rock music. One day some kids ran out in front of my car and I shouted ""F***ing kids and Michael Jackson came on!"
That never Really happened. I just saw it on some site on the internet. I personaly am a Michael Jackson fan.
"How many astronauts can you fit inside a car? Twelve. Two in front, three in back and seven in the ash tray."
This one blew around my town for awhile after the Challenger incident.
"Q: What happened when Michael Jackson invited Billy Squier and KISS to a party? A: Billy Squier stroked it, Michael Jackson beat it, and KISS licked it up."
Where did the cantaloupe take his vacation? John Cougar's Melon Camp
Why did Michael Jackson go to the K-Mart? He heard little boys panties were half-off.
How did Billy Squier die? Stroke! Stroke!
"Q: Why is a Yugo like a Bic lighter? A: You use it 'til it runs out of gas, then throw it away."
Q: What do you call Pac-Man on drugs? A: Crack-man
"What do you call 10,000 Honda Civics at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean? A good start.
What do you call 10,000 Yugos at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean? A job well done!"
"[Ed.'s note: And since I recently bough a used Honda Civic, I hope this author knows that these are jokes from the 80s. P.S.: Yugos still apply.]"
Why did Cyndi Lauper set her bed on fire?
Because it was fun.
Q: What kind of wood doesn't float? A:Natalie Wood
Q: What is the definition of a string quartet? A: The Leningrad Symphony orchestra returning from a tour of the West.
"Q: What was the last thing Christa McAuliffe said to her husband? A: You feed the kids, I'll feed the fishes."
What do you call a Yugo with no wheels? A no-go
Q: Why did N.A.S.A. get Pepsi to sponser the Space Shuttle? A: Because they could not get 7-Up (Seven Up)?
What you call Madonna after she does L.S.D? Mad-on-Acid
What is the difference Michael Jackson and Richard Pryor? Michael Jackson was burned using Pepsi and Richard Pryor was burned using Coke.
"How many teenagers can fit into a Yugo? No one knows, none of them want to risk being seen in one!"
"I own two 1987 Yugo's, both run great still."
Q: How are the NES and Michael Jackson the same? A: Little boys turn them both on.
Q: What do you call Rock Hudson in a wheel chair? A: Roll-Aids
Q: What do you call a Yugo station wagon? A: A We-go.
What does Micheal Jackson have in common with a second place winner? A: They both come in a little behind.
Q: What does Michael Jackson and McDonald's have in common? A: They both put their meat in 12-year-old buns.
"Q:What was the last words heard in the Challenger before it exploded? A:""Let her pilot the Challenger for a while......"
What do you call a Yugo at the top of a hill? A miracle
Q: What do you call two gay guys named Bob? A: Oral Roberts
Q: What do male prostitutes and The Pink Panther have in common? A: Peter Sellers
Q: Why was Rock Hudson buried face down? A: So that his partners could have a cold one.
"A Reaganism that a friend of mine did every time he imitated the Gipper: ""Well, before I start speaking, I'd like to say..."" "
"One I remember from Johnny Carson, circa mid-80s: It's said that there are only three man-made structures visible from space: the Great Wall of China, Tip O'Neill, and Don King's hair."
A: What was the last thing on Donny Hathaway's mind? A: Seventh Avenue.
Correction to a previous joke.
Q: How do you spell Canada? A: C-eh-N-eh-D-eh!!!
"Did you hear that Michael Jackson and Elton John are doing a song together? It's called ""Don't let your son go down on me........ What does Sears and Michael Jackson have in common? litte boy's pants on sale....."
What would happen if Whoopi Goldberg married Scooby Doo? Whoppi Doo!
"Q. Why did the Valley Girl take two birth control pills? A. To be ""fer sure, fer sure."
"Why is a Yugo called a Yugo? Because you go, and it don't!"
Q: What do you call a Yugo that breaks down after 100 miles? A: An overachiever.
What did Princess Grace have that Natalie Wood could have used? A good stroke.
"Q: Are You a Almond Joy or Mounds A: Almond Joy got nuts, Mounds don't"
Why did people in the 80s live like kings? Because they went to Burger King
Why is Michael Jackson like the Dodgers' infield? They all wear one glove for no apparent reason.
The Dodgers had terrible defense in the 80s...
"Q: What colour were Christa McAuliffe's eyes? A: Blue. One blue this way, the other blue that way. (blue - blew)"
People find it amazing that I can see the humour in Challenger jokes when watching the shuttle explode is the only news broadcast that ever made me cry.
Q: What were Christa McAuliffe's last words? A: What's this button for?
Hear about the new band featuring Ronald Regan and Milli Vanilli? They don't remember any of the songs they didn't sing.
Q: Why can't the Go-Gos have sex? A: Because their lips are sealed.
"Joy to the world, the school burnt down and all the teachers died, they were looking for the principal, he's hanging from the flag pole, with a rope around his neck, with a rope around his neck, with a roooooppppeee around his neck. "
"(to the tune of joy to the world) Joy to the world, the teachers dead. We bar-be-cued her head! And what about her body? we flushed it down the potty! And round and round she goes, and round and round she goes... "
This was a school yard classic in the late 80s.
What would the band be called if Duran Duran and The Go-Go's got together? Durango-Durango
What do you call Pac-Man on drugs? Crack-Man!
what does NASA stand for? Need Another Seven Astronauts
"I pledge allegiance to the flag. Michael jackson is a f*g. Pepsi Cola burnt him up, now he's drinking 7 up. "
How can you stop a Yugo with just one finger? Push in the cigarette lighter.
"How many letters are in the alphabet? 22, cuz E.T. went home and somebody shot J.R."
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was stapled to the punk rockers lip.
"Why was Michael Jackson grounded? He was ""Bad"
What do you call a Yugo built for two? A two-go
How are Madonna's knees like the Beatles? They'll never get back together.
"Deck the halls with gasoline, falalalalalalala Strike a match and watch it gleam, falalalalalalalala Burn the schoolhouse down to ashes, falalalalalalalala Aren't you glad you play with matches? falalalalalalalala (to the tune of deck the halls)"
Why does a Yugo have a rear defroster? To keep your hands warm when you're pushing it.
"What is Ronald Reagan's favorite pick-up line at a bar? ""Do I come here often?"
How do you get a Cure fan out of a tree? Cut the rope
"What did Marvin Gaye's father say to him before he shot him? ""This is the last 45 you'll ever hear!"
What was Marvin Gaye's last hit? Heard it through the carbine.
What's the best part of owning a Yugo? You can always get a handicapped spot!!!
"If Milli Vanilli fall in the woods, does someone else make a sound?"
Why did Michael Jackson fail to renew his contract with Pepsi?Because he found out that the main ingerdient was Bubbles!
What did Michael Jackson do when his hair caught on fire?Beat-it!
What do you call a Yugo at the top of a hill?A miracle
Do You Have Other Jokes to Share?

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