No Dan, we were bowling partners.

If you didn't have a pussy, there'd be a bounty on your head.

Gangbanger: Don't f-ck with the Lords of Hell. Ginny: Don't f-ck with the babysitter.

Okay, okay...I take it back. Thor's NOT a homo!

"I need something to cover my zits."
(Sara hands him a crayon)"Want some orange?"

Hot Dog Stand Guy: "Look lady, I'm on a cash only basis!" Brenda: "But I don't HAVE any cash!" Hot Dog Stand Guy: "Then I don't have a weiner!"

"Nobody leaves this place without singing the blues!"

"GET OUTTA MY HOUSE!" (Brenda kicks his slippers and Spam out of the phone booth) "You just moved."

Chris: "Who's that?" Sara: "Stray dog." Chris: "What are we gonna do?" Sara: "Get in the car and run him over!"

"Oh, by the way, allow me to congratulate you on your little scientific breakthrough. I'm sure in the miserable anals of the Earth, you'll be duly inscribed!" - Lord John Worfin

"No matter where you go...there you are."
Buckeroo:Let her out and give her your coat. Perfect Tommy:Why? Buckeroo:'Cause you're Perfect.
Banzai: "Rawhide, are you there? Come in."
Rawhide: "I read you, Banzai. I'm getting a lot of static."
Banzai: "Yeah, that's me. I've been ionized, but I'm okay now."
Laugh while you can, monkeyboy!

"Johnny, what can you make of this?" "I can make a hat, a broach, a pterodactyl!!!"

duck duck duck goose

Murdock (William Shatner): "We'd better get to the tower Lieutenant." Lieutenant: "We have no tower sir." Murdock: "No tower?" Lieutenant: "Just a bridge sir." Murdock: "Why the hell aren't I told about these things??"

Lawyer: "Dr. Stone, could you give us your impression of Mr. Striker?" Dr. Stone: "I'm sorry, I don't do impressions; my training's in psychiatry." Lawyer: "Of course."

I Speak Jive

Roger:"We have clearance, Clarence." Clarence: "Roger, Roger. What's our vector, Victor?"

"Cutta say can't haaaaang, slide be a piece of the porter, drink side on the java." "Chump don't want da help, chump don't get da help, jive-ass dude don't got no brains anyhow!" "You just hang loose, blood, she be back on the flip side with the medicine."

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.
Striker: "Surely you can't be serious."
Dr. Rumack: "I am serious. And don't call me Shirley."
And Leon's getting la-a-a-a-a-arger!
Dr. Rumack: "What was it we had for dinner tonight?"
Elaine: "Well, we had a choice, steak or fish."
Dr. Rumack: "Yes, yes, I remember. I had lasagna."

"Your mother mates out of season."

Ripley: This little girl survived for six weeks on her own with no training. Hudson: Then why don't we put her in charge!

"Boy's definitely got a corn cob up his a**." Apone: "Guess she don't like the cornbread, either."

Hudson: "Hey Vasquez, You ever been mistaken for a man?" Vasquez: "No...have you?"

"Get away from her, you bitch"

Hudson: "Yeah, someone said 'alien,' she thought they said 'illegal alien' and signed up."
Vasquez: "F**k you, man."
Hudson: "Anytime, anywhere."
Hudson: "Aw, that's it, man. Game over. Game over, man. I mean, what're we gonna do now? What're we gonna do?! We're in some real pretty sh*t now!"
Apone: "Boy's definitely got a corn cob up his ass."
Apone: "Guess she don't like the cornbread, either."
"Game over, man, GAME OVER!"

"A babe in the kitchen is worth two on the beach"

"You're a rock-n-roller Molly, The night isn't over 'till the sun comes up"

"Forgive me, your majesty. I'm a vulgar man. But I assure you, my music is not."

Steve: "So...you got a boyfriend back home?" Julie: "No...why?" Steve: "You want one?"

"Why do you sit on your helmets?" "So we don't get our b*lls blown off sir!"

"I love the smell of napalm in the morning."

"Shop smart,shop S-mart. Names Ash, housewares." "If any of you primates even THINKS about touching me...." "That's just pillow talk, baby!"

"There's only two things you've got going for yourself in this town. Jack and Shit. And Jack just left town."

"Gimme some sugar, baby."

"Hail to the King, baby."

"You're goody little two-shoes."

"Good... bad... I'm the guy with the gun."

"This... is my BOOM STICK!"

"You want a little? Huh?"

"Pardon me..... oh, you're a hedge"

Slut!!!

There's a country that's so small,Rhode Island can beat the hell out of it!

"One must usually go to a bowling alley to meet women of such stature."

"He's taking the knife out of the cheese. Do you think he wants some cheese?"

"Where's the rest of that moose." "You must have really hated that moose." to the moose: "This must be awfully embarassing to you."

Arthur: Do you know what I'm going to do? Hopson: No, I don't. Arthur: I'm going to take a bath. Hopson: I'll alert the media. Arthur: Do you want to run my bath? Hopson: It's what I live for. I suppose you want me to come in there and wash your d*ck for you, you little sh*t.

"I see no further reason in prolonging this conversation any longer, unless you plan on knocking over a fruit stand later in the evening. Good luck in prison!"

"What's so funny?" "Sometimes I just think funny things"