"now your not foolishu enough to think were livin' in a democracy now do ya buddy?" - Gordon Gekko

"When I watch you eat, when I see you asleep, when I look at you lately, I just want to smash your face in."

Biology Teacher: "Alright, Lightman. Maybe you can tell us who first suggested the idea of reproduction without sex." David: "Um, your wife?"

David:"How about Global Thermonuclear War?"
Joshua:"Wouldn't you prefer a good game of chess?"

You remember when you told me to tell you when you were acting rudely and insesitively. Your doing it right now!

"Would you like to play a game? How about a nice game of chess"

"Go wit[sic]God..."-Father Brown

"bernie gets laid more dead than i do alive!"

"I...am here...so let the fun...begin."

"I want her to aerobisize!"

Grandpa: I'm not going to stand here and listen to this baloney!Grandma: He won't you know. He doesn't stand for baloney!

Lisa to Gary's father regarding party at Wyatt's house: Dad: What kind of party..... Lisa: Oh, chips, dips, chains, whips. Your standard high school orgy type of thing.

"Ah just give me the whole bottle." "I'll tell you what. Why don't you bend over, and I'll shove it straight up your ass." "On the rocks is fine."

"He doesn't even have his license Lisa. Gimme da keys!"

Grandpa: I'm not going to stand here and listen to this baloney!Grandma: He won't you know. He doesn't stand for baloney!

"You know what? That guy's an asshole. Just look at his hair cut. Anybody with a haircut like that is an asshole!"

Chet: "Your stewed buttwad"

"It's purely sexual"
Chet to Wyatt while Wyatt cooks breakfast, then Chet takes the food away - "Say....that looks pretty good. Now make some for yourself....DICKWEED!"
"Ok, you die...she walks out of here with a severe limp."
When Gary is sitting in the bar and says....."Yeah man, she kicked my right sqare in my nutz, man....what kind of *itch kicks a man in his nutz?"
"You two monkey dicks couldn't get laid in a morgue!" Chet
"What are you guys doing in there?" "Gary was just takin a shit."
"How would you like a nice greasy pork sandwich served in a dirty ashtray?"

"How bout a nice, greasey pork sandwich served in a dirty ash tray"

"For Christ's sake, will you cover youself!"

You can't even take a shower with a pretty woman without wearing your jeans.

"My nuts are halfway up my ass, but other than that I'm perfect."

Harry: "No, you didn't. A Sheldon can do your income taxes. If you need a root canal, Sheld'ns your man, but humpin' and pumpin' is not Sheldon's strong suit. It's the name. 'Do it to me, Sheldon.''You're an animal, Sheldon.''Ride me, big Sheldon.' It doesn't work."
Waiter, there is too much pepper in my paprikash.
Sally: I'd like the chef salad, please, with the oil and vinegar on the side. And the apple pie a la mode. . . . But I'd like the pie heated, and I don't want the ice cream on top, I want it on the side. And I'd like strawberry instead of vanilla if you have it. If not, then no ice cream, just whipped cream, but only if it's real. If it's out of a can, then nothing.
Waitress: Not even the pie?...
Sally: No, then the pie, but not heated.
Harry: I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

Sally: and i'm gonna be 40!! Harry: When? Sally: Someday. Harry: In eight years. Sally: But it's there. It's just sitting there, like some big dead end.

(After Sally has her pretend orgasm in the restraunt) Older lady: "I'll have what she's having."

Jessica: "I'm not bad; I'm just drawn that way."

"Didn't you use to be Eddie Valient? Or did you change your name to Jack Daniels?"

"Look at the way she's dressed!"

Forget it I'll Drive Give me da keys

"one false move, jacka**, and you really will be a woman!" -Sorsha

Willow: "You be careful! I am a powerful sorcerer." Mad Martigan: "Oh no! I'm really scared. No! Don't! There's a peck with an acorn pointed at me!" Mad Martigan (to the Brownies): "Mumbo. Jumbo. I am hungry. Go get me some eggs or something." Brownies: "We are not afraid of you!" Mad Martigan: "Now!" Brownies: "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! (running around)"

"Ask him to stop the wagon." -Brownies

"I love you Sorsha? I don't love her she kicked me in the face.I hate her...don't I." (Madmartigan)

Sorsha: "'I dwell in darkness without you' and it WENT AWAY?!"

Alex: "Well, I appreciate your directness, Daryll and I will try to be as direct and honest with you as I possibly can be. In the short time I've known you, you have demonstrated every undesirable quality of the male personality, and even discovered a few new ones. You are physically repulsive, intellectually retarded. You're morally reprehensible, vulgar, insensitive, selfish, stupid. You have no taste, a lousy sense of humor, and you smell. You're not even interesting enough to make me sick."

Withnail, hungrily contemplating a live chicken: How do we make it die?

Danni: I don't advise a haircut, man. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Hairs are your aerials. They pick up signals from the cosmos, and transmit them directly into the brain. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.

Danni, rolling a very large joint: It is called a 'Camberwell Carrot' because I invented it in Camberwell, and it looks like a carrot.

"My thumbs have gone weird"

"We've come on holiday by mistake!"

MONTY you terrible C**t!

Lucas Barton: "I love the Power Glove. It's so bad."