Bill Allen to Lori Laughlin "What I wouldn't give to go ass sliding with you right now."

"You never got me down, Ray."

"I coulda been a contender"

"He aint pretty no more."

"That's entertainment."

"Snakes, why'd it have to be snakes?"

"Bad dates." "Jones, you are about to become a permanent addition to this archealogical find. Who know's, in a thousand years even you may be worth something." "It's not the years, Honey; it's the mileage." "Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes?"

Indiana Jones: "I'm going after that truck." Sallah: "How?" Indiana Jones: "I don't know - I'm making this up as I go."

"97X! The Future of Rock and Roll!"

I'm gonna let you in on a little secret, Ray. K-Mart sucks.

What difference does it make, where you buy underwear? What difference does it make? Underwear is underwear! It is underwear wherever you buy it! In Cincinnati or wherever!

"K-Mart Sucks"

High.....I'm bearin!

Glen-Does the Pope wear a funny hat? Hi-Yeah, I guess it is kinda funny.

Evelle Snopes: "Do these balloons blow up into funny shapes?" Clerk: "Nope, not unless round is funny."

Hi: "I'll be taking those huggies and whatever cash you got."

"I couldn't believe that a woman who looked as fertile as the Tennessee River Valley could bear no children, but the doctor explained that her insides were a rocky place, where my seed could find no purchase." "So, why do you say that you're a woman trapped in a man's body?" "Well, sometimes I get the menstrual cramps real hard."

Hi, I'm barren!

"Give me that baby, you warthog from Hell!"

Cop: "I understand you changed your name from Nathan Huffines." Arizona: "Yeah, what of it?" Cop: "Can you give us any indication why?" Arizona: "Yeah. Would you buy furniture from a store called 'Unpainted Huffines?'"

"I don't know, they were jammies ... they had Yodas 'n' shit!"

"Son, you got a panty on your head"

This is Jerry Hathaway with Everything. Tonight we're going to be taking a look at something most of us take for granted....The colon. What DOES it look like?

"It was a moral imperative. It had to be done."

Self realization. I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates who said...I DRANK WHAT?

Kent: What is this?? Chris: This is ice. Its what happens to water when it gets too cold.

Chris: "Would you classify that as a launch problem or a design problem?"

"Ever had that dream where your standing atop a pyramid in sort of sun god robes with a thousand naked women screaming and thowing little pickels at you?"

Girl (to Chris): Can you nail a three inch spike through a board with your penis? Chris: No, not right now. Girl: A girl's got to have her standards.

Chris (Val Kilmer): "Well, if there's ever anything I can do for you or more to the point to you, let me know." Susan (Deborah Foreman): "Can you hammer a six inch spike through a board with your penis?" Chris: "Not right now." Susan: "A girl's gotta have her standards."

Chris: "Kent's got his name on his license plate."
Mitch: "My mother does that with my underwear."
Chris: "Your mother puts license plates in your underwear? How do you sit?"

Chris: "I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, who said:'I drank what?'"

"Is it the dream where you're standing in sort-of Sun God robes, with thousands of naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?" "Why am I the only one who has this dream?"

"Rub a butt on him." "Wolverines!!!!!!!!!!!" "Tell me, Jed, what's the difference between us and them?" "Because....we live here!!"

American colonel to Robert: "All that hate is going to burn you up, son." Robert: "Keeps me warm."

I am not sh*tting on you

Jabba: "Soon you will learn to appreciate me."

Han: "Who are you?"
Leia: "Someone who loves you."
"I'm out of it for a little while and everyone gets delusions of grandeur."
Han: "Together again, huh?"
Luke: "Wouldn't miss it."
Han: "How we doin?"
Luke: "Same as always."
Han: "That bad, huh?"

Point that thing somewhere else!

"Keep your distance though, Chewie, but don't look like you're trying to keep you distance. I don't know... fly casual."

"Luke, I am your father." -Darth Vader

Hello lambdas...we're the pi's and we're here to say....we think you are special guys lambdas all the way...we prefer your high IQs to they're great big jocks..and lambda lambda lambda boys really are the best....won't you take a piece of pi and we'll do the rest. the sisters of pi want to welcome our newest fraternity - lambda lambda lambda. we'd like to be escorts to your party saturday night and help in any way possible -betty childs

We've got bush!! - buger

Booger: We've Got Bush, We've Got Bush! Takashi: Ohhhh Hair Pie Followed by nerd laughter
Police officer: "See that man over there, we arrested him for mopery"
Booger: "What's mopery?"
Police officer: "Mopery is exposing yourself to a blind person"
Lewis: "Have any of you guys got dates for Saturday night besides Gilbert?"
Lamar: "I have"
Booger: "Yeah, but that's a guy"
Lewis: "Well, what about you Booger?"
Booger: "Hey, I've been out combing the high schools all day"
Gilbert to Judy: "Hey, take it easy, the computer's your friend"
Takashi: "'scuse please, why do they call you Booger?"
Booger (picking his nose): "I dunno"
Booger: "Step aside mama, I wanna see some of that muff"
Stan: "The times are changing Betty, these nerds are a threat to our way of life"
Coach Harris: "You just got your asses WHIPPED by a bunch of goddam nerds!"

Gibert: I met a girl. Lewis: Gilbert! Gilbert: Her name is Judy. Lewis: Judy is a nice name Gilbert. Gilbert: Yea, she's a nice girl. Booger: Big deal, did you get in her pants? Gilbert: She's not that kind of girl, Booger. Booger: Why, does she have a penis?

Gilbert: She's not that kind of girl, Booger! Booger: Why? Does she have a penis?

Takashi: "Maybe we should serve robster craws." Booger: "What the f*ck are robster craws?!"

Takashi: "OHHH!! Smile Pretty Chickies...ohhh, Sank you very much...sank you...hair pie, hair pie!"

Takashi: "I got a frush" Booger: "What the fu*k's a frush?"

German Scientist: ...I was thinking in mind of a jimp (chimp). Lyndon Johnson: "A jimp?!?!?.....Now what THE HELL is a jimp?!?!

"Sounds dangerous....Count me in"
"I say he screwed the pooch partner...Plain and simple"
"Well sometimes you get a pooch that can't be screwed"

"Sometimes you just gotta say , what the f***, and make your move."

"Looks like it's the University of Illinois!"

"I've got a trig mid-term tomorrow, and I'm being chased by Guido the Killer Pimp!"

lana to joel: are you ready for me?

Sometimes you just got to say... what the fuck.

"Pain Don't Hurt."

"This place is so bad, they have signs above the urinals that say 'Don't eat the big white mint.'"

Frank Tilghman: "This is our town, and don't you forget it!"

"This is our town, amd DON'T you forget it."

Bouncer to Patrick Swayze -- "What if someone calls my mama a whore?"
Swayze -- "Well, is she?"

"Right Boot"

Wounded felon: "Please Clarence, NO!" Clarence Bonniker: "Can you fly, Bobby?" OCP V.P.: "What are your prime directives?" Robocop: "Serve the public trust, protect the innocent, obey the law." TV Comedian: "I'll buy that for a dollar!"

Bixby Snyder: I'd buy that for a dollar!

Oh a new toy! Can i play?

Old man: "Dick, you're fired!"

Robocop: "Stay out of trouble."

Clarence Boddicker: "Cops don't like me. So I don't like cops!" "B**ches, leave!" "I got the muscle to shove enough of this factory up your stupid wop a** that you'll sh*t snow for a year." "Oooh, guns! Guns! The Tigers are playing tonight, I never miss a game!"

OCP's president: "Nice shooting son, what's your name?" Robocop: "Murphy."

"Your band has been 'ERADICATED' from Reagan High." said by Dr. Vadar

"I vill break you."

"Paddy Cake"

Now that's what I call a camp fire!

"Yeaaaaahhhh. Now that's what I call a real campfire" (Jack T Colton)

"You know want to know what I REALLY hate about you?" "Why not, you've already gone this far!" "YOUR A**!" "Oh, eloquently put!" "No, literally, I hate your a**! I wake up every morning to you stretching your rear end in the mirror, and let me tell you, it's NOT a pretty sight!"

Killian: "Who loves you, and who do you love?" Richards(to Killian): "Well, I haven't been in show business as long as you have. But I'm a fast learner, and now I'm giving the people what I think they want!" Resistance Gunner(bursting into the controlroom): "Don't touch that dial!"

I'll be back, Killian

Ben Richards (Schwartzenegger): "Killian, I'll be back." Damon Killian (Dawson): "Only in a rerun!"

(After he kills the guy with the chainsaw): "He had to split."

Damon Killian (Dawson): "Who Loves You? And Who Do You Love?"

"I've been kidnapped by Kmart..."

"Yeah, Debbie's here right now, but my dick is in her mouth right now, can I have her call you later?" - Sam Stone (Danny DeVito)

Im Being Marked Down!

"This could very well be the studidest man on the face of the earth... .....perhaps we should shoot him."

"Drop the gun! Give the bag to Bozo and put your hands up!"