"I've seen him lick his eyebrows!"
"A piece here...a piece there...the last of the V-8s"

Three days ago I saw a tanker that could pull that truck. You want to get out of here, you talk to me.

Kids: "Aren't you Captain Walker?"
Max: "No. I'm the guy who keeps Mr. Dead in his pocket."

"Looks like JoBu needs a Refill!"

"I only have one thing to say to you, Vaughn....STRIKE THIS MOTHER *UCKER OUT!"

Haywood: "Taylor, what are you doing back here?" Taylor: "Ohhh...couldn't cut it in the Mexican League."

Coach: "I thought we did'nt have any high priced talent on this team." Brown: "Forgot about Dorn ... because he's only high priced."

Taylor: Well I guess theres only one thing left to do... Hayes: Whats that? Taylor: Win the whole *uckin thing!

Sheen "I look like a banker in this."
Berenger "Sorry rick, those are the house rules."
Snipes "What language is this?"
Berenger "French"
Sheen "They got chili-dogs over there?"
Berenger "Forget it, I'll order"

Harry Doyle: "I'll tell ya these Cleveland fans are great! Listen to them get behind Vaughn!" and that's when the two announcers start immitating crowd noise...

"It's those jelly doughnuts. They call to me in the middle of the night. Hollywood! Come and get me Hollywood!! I can't stay away from them."

"I don't care if he puts a rubber glove on his head, runs around the store naked and says 'HI! I'm a squid."

"Put pennies in my eyes, cuz I sure don't beleive what I'm seein'"
"Doesn't it just sing?"

He-Man: "I Have The Power!"

"Curtis!?....Are you dead??"

"Do you have change of a thousand?" "What are you, a comedian? Get out of here, ya bum!" "Well, looks like I'm walkin'."

"I've got two words for you: shut the f*ck up."

Marvin(After Mosley steals his cigarettes again): "Why don't you just quit? It'd be cheaper for the both of us." Marvin(While Jack's unlocking the Duke's cuffs): "Hey, I thought you through those away!" Jack: "Always check the evidence, Marvin. Those were car keys." The Duke: "You two are the worst bounty hunters I've ever seen! You two couldn't deliver a bottle of milk!" "96 bottles o'beer on the wall, Ba-ba-Boom, Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da, 93 bottles o'beer on the waaaall." (Why Jack didn't tell him to shut up this time is beyond me.) Jack: "You know Serrano, there's something I've wanted to say to you for ten years." Serrano: Yeah, what's that?" Jack: "You're under arrest."

"Is this Moron #1? Put moron #2 on the phone."
"You and that other dummy better start getting more personally involved in your work or I'm gonna stab you through the heart with a f***ing pencil."

nell carter to dabney coleman-"I tried reading some of your books. What is this pseudo sexual penis envy?"

dabney coleman-"I think Max is suffering from the lame duck syndrome, Help me, Help me, fix my broken wing."

nell carter-"this is magic demon dust. He touch this, he die". chevy chase-"oh boy,oh boy, oh boy," (proceeds to snort up all of demon dust

Your nothing but a lousey, crooked lawyer, supplying the grease that makes this shitty movie business work. You think your life's a mystery? There isn't a dirty cover up in this business that I don't know about, and your hand is in every one of them, you reek of it.

"We have weak trees."

"Sometimes it amazes me that you ever passed the Bar!" - Anna Crowley (Shelley Long) "I'm sure it does... you've probably never passed one up in your life!" - Walter Fielding (Tom Hanks)

Did you hear about that guy in the Bronx, went crazy, thought he was a pigeon? They found in the park throwing bread crumbs at himself. And he was just installing a guest bathroom. (Tom Hanks)

Walter: Little problem in the kitchen. Nothing trivial. Anna: Well the Turkey's done. Walter: So is the kitchen. In fact its a little too done for my taste. Let's not go there again.

"honey,your on my fingers."(as walter fielding falls down the broken stair case

(After Tom Hanks's character falls through the floor)"For a minute there, I thought I saw the Care Bears!"

"Mummy came to my house."

"Wolfman's got nards!"

Horace: Kick him in the nads!! Eugene: What? Horace: Kick him in the nads so he can't follow you. [Eugene kicks the wolfman in the nads.] Eugene: Wow! Wolfman has nads!!

"Kick him in the nuts!"
"Do werewolves HAVE nuts?!"

WOMAN: Well, how did you become king then? ARTHUR: The Lady of the Lake,... [angels sing] ...her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. [singing stops] That is why I am your king! DENNIS: Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony. ARTHUR: Be quiet! DENNIS: Well, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you! ARTHUR: Shut up! DENNIS: I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away! ARTHUR: Shut up, will you. Shut up! DENNIS: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system. ARTHUR: Shut up! DENNIS: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help! I'm being repressed! ARTHUR: Bloody peasant! DENNIS: Oh, what a give-away. Did you hear that? Did you hear that, eh? That's what I'm on about. Did you see him repressing me? You saw it, didn't you?

"What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?"

"We are the Knights Who Say Nee. We demand... shrubbery!"

French Castle Guard to King Arthur,"Let me taunt you some more, you English pigs!, your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries! I fart in your general direction, you wipers of other people's bottoms!"

"Look, ladies lyin' in ponds, destributing swords is no way to base a goverment."

Doctor: "Get the machine that goes 'ping.'" Doctor 1: "Can I put the tube in the baby's head?" Doctor 2: "Only if I can do the episiotomy." Maitre d': "Good afternoon, sir, and how are we today?" Creosote: "Better." Maitre d': "Better?" Creosote: "Better get a bucket, I'm gonna throw up." Catholic father: "I've given this long and careful thought, and it has to be medical experiments for the lot of you." Death: "Shut up, you American. You always talk, you Americans. You talk and you talk and say 'let me tell you something' and 'I just wanna say this'. Well, you're dead now, so shut up!"

Boy: "Hey, don't you want your car?"
Girl: "Oh, that's not my car. In fact, I don't know whose car it is."

220, 221, whatever it takes

Kenny, give me the whoobie...

"Just get the balogna, Mr!"

steve martin: You know you shouldn't be in the frozen food section alone. Woman: Why is that? Steve Martin: Cause you can melt all this stuff!

Clerk to Todd: "Have a nice day!" Todd: "F**k you!"

My it's hot out here. At least it isn't sticky. I just hate it when it's sticky! (all said with a fake southern belle accent and the star has her slip hanging from a stick as an umbrella while she is stranded out in the desert!)

Hey Babe. It is Babe, isn't it?

"No such thing as a bad titty"

"When you're cool, the sun shines on you 24 hours a day."